Inherent inheritance: blame the parentsPosted: August 8, 2013
Some of the best advice I’ve heard recently:
Everyone has mommy/daddy issues, including your mom/dad. Everyone just does the best they can.
If you think about it, Adam and Eve were probably the first to have parental issues. When your dad is God, there’s a lot of pressure to be awesome.
All of us have things we praise our parents for, and things we blame our parents for. We forget that our parents have/had parents, too…until we become parents, ourselves. Suddenly, each time you tell yourself, “I’m doing the best I can,” you realize your own parents were also doing the best they could with you.
One reason it’s hard to visualize our parents having a tough time is because grandparents tend to be pretty awesome. By the time someone is a grandparent, they’re usually mature and squared away, and they get to be “fun” rather than responsible for grandchildren. Hence, our view of our parents’ parents is a bit skewed.
If only we could combine the energy of young parents with the wisdom of grandparents, we would be onto something!
It’s crazy for me to think that my parents were younger than me when they became parents. I have to stop myself, on the regular, from calling everyone I encountered in my twenties to apologize for my behavior, and I was only responsible for caring for myself and a dog.
I’m still working on me, and now I’m also raising a baby. I’m lucky my dog made it through my crazy, immature years!
The next time you get ready to criticize your parents, remember, what you don’t move past, you’ll pass right along to your own kids. We can’t help but screw each other up at least a little bit. It’s part of the beauty of parenthood.
The more you dish out about your own parents, the more crow you’ll eat later on.