Typical relationship steps (as if there’s a typical relationship):
- Boy meets girl.
- Boy and girl date.
- Boy and girl date exclusively.
- Boy and girl analyze everything about each other.
- Boy and girl either break-up, or wait until each thinks they’ve been together long enough, and tie the knot.
Cut to a baby’s first relationship:
- Baby enters world.
- Baby meets family.
- Baby is instantly part of the most serious, long-term relationship he will ever be in…forever. Hello, family!
It’s both beautiful and scary at the same time. A baby is assigned parents, for better or worse. There’s no Parent-Match.com.
On the one hand, there’s instant, unconditional love, without anyone needing to lie about likes/dislikes or put on makeup before the other wakes up. On the other hand, if it isn’t a great match, you’re stuck.
Funny, but true.
Marriage vows try to mirror this same ideology, but it’s unrealistic to expect two adults to skip the analytics and criticisms that come with age, knowledge and experience, and fall perfectly into true, unconditional love.
Babies need parents in a way adults typically don’t need each other. It’s the same with pets. A dog knows who feeds it and takes it out, and that’s where we get the old adage, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”
When the idea for this blog sparked, I thought it would just be funny to mention how babies are thrust into relationships without the usual dalliance. Now that I put it all down, I can see a more serious moral to the story. Without need, relationships are conditional and disposable.
It’s not all about passion, love and sex. It’s about focusing on improving someone else’s life, and scratching an itch they otherwise can’t reach. Without the right partner, one could itch incessantly.